1. Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & an idiot at the other. 2. Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test. 3. Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters 4. Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight. 5. Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either". 6. Conference/Seminar : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present. 7. Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power... 8. Classic: A book which, people praise but do not read. 9. Divorce: Future tense of marriage 10.. Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life. 11. Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth. 12. Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do. 13. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together. 14. Experience: The name men give to their mistakes. 15. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions. 16. Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead. 17. Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip. 18. Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river. 19. Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet." 20. Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY . 21. Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich. 22. Criminal: A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught. 23. Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early. 24. Employee: One who gets paid for reading such mails like you are doing now......?