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1. Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire
at one end & an idiot at the other.


2. Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day
internationals are more popular than a five day test.


3. Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses
his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters


4. Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.


5. Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes
of the lecturer to the notes of the students without
passing through "the minds of either".


6. Conference/Seminar : The confusion of one man multiplied
by the number present.


7. Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine
will-power is defeated by feminine water-power...


8. Classic: A book which, people praise but do not read.


9. Divorce: Future tense of marriage


10.. Office: A place where you can relax after your
strenuous home life.


11. Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to
open their mouth.


12. Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know
more than you actually do.


13. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually
and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.


14. Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.


15. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.


16. Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during
life, to be spoken of when dead.


17. Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell
in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.


18. Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he
accidentally falls into a river.


19. Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower
says in midway "See I am not injured yet."


20. Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in
ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY .


21. Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.


22. Criminal: A guy no different from the rest...
except that he got caught.


23. Boss: Someone who is early when you are late
and late when you are early.


24. Employee: One who gets paid for reading such
mails like you are doing now......?
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